Thank you for your uselessness.

This is an example of some responses I receive when asking for more information about apartment listings:

RE: Ad Interest: Beautiful 2 bedroom appartment for rent on SMB on canal close to beach

Hi Saskia,

unfortunately they don't allow pets at this appartment. It's beautiful though.

Sorry

__________

(spelling preserved for full effect.)

And then later this afternoon I got this one:

Hi Saskia,

The best thing to do is to bring your dog with you when you view the apartments. If you like one of them we can decide whether we would be happy with your dog in the apartment. We would have to take an extra pet deposit to cover us for the risk of damage to the apartment.

7th/8th April is fine to view, let me know what date/time would be most convenient.

Best Regards _____________________

And finally:

Hi there

this place would be ideal for you if you are attending the uni. There are also other students staying in this complex. [YAY!] Unfortunately however, they don't allow pets. [BOOOO.]

If you woul still like to view, please let me know (allow a day or so's notice) and we can arrange a viewing. [Um, seriously? That apartment better be lined in gold/diamonds and come with matching young, hot, Yacht Club Millionaires.]

Regards

___________

(names have been rescinded, since I'm pretty sure I'll catch hell enough from mom for this without telling you yahoos the names of these lunatics kind souls.)

(oh, and those are my comments in [red].)

So basically what I gather here is that I'm missing out on the seriously beautiful apartments due to our pets, and if I really want the apartment I will bring my pet down early. Despite the unbelievably excruciating pet import process. Or maybe FR and I should wait until we get there in May just to let them interview her Ruby who despite all perfection (which I do not in any way doubt) may not pass their inspection and then we can be homeless bums together living in a refrigerator box outside of campus.

Miss Kitty could catch our food for us while we were in class (I've heard iguana is very tasty blackened and then grilled over a garbage can fire). And Ruby can stand guard over our box/belongings.

Thank you, benevolent landlords, for your kind words of wisdom.

Suck it.