Blame it on the moon....

Another physio exam down, another weekend of fun begins!

Completely irrelevant but still awesome pic of Mystic Dragon Capri Sun. Really yummy (tastes pretty much like Pacific Cooler)...

Took this awesome pic after a long day of particularly yucky dissection. Would make a great movie poster...

Kip riding "Gums"

Friday night we convened once again for our Cocktails at Sunset House. It was an interesting evening complete with random medical discussions and sacrilegious statements. To add to our motley crew, our physiology professor, Dr. Roy, and his wife joined us for libations and a little pipe smoking.

(Sherlock Holmes style, not Cheech and Chong Style. C'mon.)

A few highlights from the conversations:

Coconut IV bags: We mentioned our experience with coconut water to Dr. Roy. Travis brought up having seen a documentary on using coconuts as IV fluids when in survivor situations. Our token med student at the table jumped in right away discounting the possibility of creating the proper vacuum with a coconut unless you cut the top off, while others of us argued that a vacuum wasn't needed to administer fluids and I just sat there wondering how you would pierce the husk of the damn coconut in the first place and just how sanitary is coconut water when we've seen what it can do to your intestinal constitution?

Dr. Roy (on life in South Africa): We didn't want a new government! It's the rest of the world who forced it on us! And now we've got lots of crime and corruption. For heaven's sake, we now have a 500 Trillion Zimbabwe Dollar note that won't even buy a loaf a bread.

Mike (not sure where this came from but it was damn funny): I don't feel any guilt. Fuck him and his apple.

Mike and I up front; in back: Kip, Travis, and Paul.

Saturday night was the monthly Full Moon party. It seems each month there is a theme associated; this month's was a "Foam Moon Party" (catchy play on words, huh? I wonder how proud the guy who thought that one up was...). Something inspired Robin, Kip and I to check out some of the local clothing stores (boredom) and upon finding that they pretty much sell the same ghetto clothing that you would find at Rave or Wet Seal or in St. Kitts, we somehow came to the conclusion that we were going to do a GC version of Pimps N Hoes that night.

Seriously folks. I think there's something in the water here.

Anyhow, at a store called Crave Kip found an awesome 'shirt set' that sported satin trim on the collar and french cuffs, as well as a matching satin tie and pocket kerchief. The shirt is a deep maroon color, and the satin details are a funky pattern with yellows and peaches and some maroon. It was quite the pimptastic shirt.

Our next stop was a sketch shoe store on Eastern Ave that apparently sells way more clothes than shoes. It reminded me a lot of Karabana's in St. Kitts. They even had those awesome stretch pants with printed on pockets/belt loops/stitching to make them appear to be jeans when really they are just a horrible pair of plain ol' stretch pants.

At the 'shoe' store, I found my top for the evening, a tight-fitting rouched cotton halter with a plunging neckline. Robin found a cute little dress in an awesome teal color. And Kip found his pimptastic baby pink sunglasses and tiger striped pinky ring.

I shit you not.

Kip inspecting his Super Heroes mood ring.

We made one more stop, to a little boutique in a building that seems to be either falling apart around it or in progress of being built where I found the perfect chunky necklace to complete my outfit. By this point we were all starving, so we headed to Yoshi for some fantastic sushi.

They encourage you to play with your food at Yoshi.

After hanging out at the house for a bit, playing a round of Kings with Travis, we were suitably tanked and headed over to CJs.

The Reason for the Season.

PimpTastic.

If any of you are Foam Virgins, as I was, you will be mightily impressed by the giant inverted phallus spewing out suds all over people dancing in the sand. Yes, suds soaked sand.

Travis reliving his childhood.

This would be so much more creepy if it weren't for the giant suds tumor on his face.

Travis and Robin with Kip doing something abnormal.

Kip trying to hit on underage chicks outside of the women's restroom.

I'm pretty sure his drink was full when he ran in that time...

I have no idea.

I wasn't keen on getting a MRSA infection, so Kip had to dance me into the foam.

Midnight brings with it Last Call here on GC (which just seems sooooo unfair at a Full Moon party), so we decided to clean off our suds with a little midnight dip in the Caribbean. Because that makes total sense.

Somehow Kip managed to keep the sunglasses but lose the ring. Despite the fact that these Full Moon parties seem to invite Trouble (you know who you are), overall it was a great night out with friends. Can't wait till next month!

If brother and sister iguanas get busy, the eggs produced are infertile. How do we make humans like that?

Saturday we visited the botanical gardens where the Blue Iguana Sanctuary is located. Some background on the facility/animal can be found here. Basically Blue Iguanas are native to only Grand Cayman (Cyclura lewesi), and they are a morph of another iguana from the Cyclura genus found on Cuba. They are the longest living iguanas, oldest being 69 years old. They used to be plentiful on Grand Cayman until people began to develop the island for human use. Basically we destroyed their habitats and introduced various predatorial species that they could not protect themselves from. They are not good climbers (unlike the Green Iguanas), are creatures of habit (will live in the same one or two trees), and tend to stand still when confronted by a potential threat (versus the Green Iguanas who run at the first sign of Stranger Danger). Between the humans, dogs, cats, snakes, red ants, and rats the population was decimated to about 15 in 2003.
Recovery efforts have increased the population enough to get it off the critically endangered list, but it is still considered an endangered species. The program at the sanctuary is designed to assist these lizards in reproducing successfully and eventually being released into the wild. They have breeding pens that are designed to give the female an acceptable habitat for laying her eggs, and then the caretakers will dig the eggs up and keep them in an incubator until they hatch (about 10 weeks). They have to dig them up because A) fire ants will attack the eggs and B) rats will dig them up and eat them. Without the caretaker's help, maybe 1 or 2 of the ten-twelve eggs will successfully hatch and make it to the surface. With their help, usually all of the eggs survive and move on to be released when they reach a good size.

Once hatched, the babies are moved into the "Head Start" program where they are reared until about a year and a half to two years. When they reach a certain weight and health status, and vet will deem them acceptable for release. This is where the hard part comes in...these guys are really territorial so the caretaker's maintain a chart of where each lizard lives and they try to make sure no close family members live near each other. If close family members (mom/son, brother/sister, etc.) mate, they will produce infertile eggs which is counteractive to the mission. Since the lizards really only produce eggs once a year, it's imperative that they produce healthy, viable eggs each clutch. (how do you like that use of vet speak, Kip?)

Oh, and we learned that Blue Iguanas taste like kerosene and Green Iguanas taste like chicken. Supposedly. That might also be rumor the warden guy was spreading to encourage those desperate enough for food to eat the greens over the blues…

Okay, enough blah blah blah. Onto the pics:

Our guide was a former chef. He used a lot of technical terms like "tastes like kerosene" and "toxitity" and "knocked up".

This was a nest that was currently inhabited by a momma laying eggs. When she finishes she will cover the hole completely masking its location and (hopefully) preventing predators from finding the eggs. Once she's done the babies are on their own.

These are the first step in the Head Start program. Under 1 year olds stay here.

Little Baby

They grow so fast!

And the showdown begins....



Mad Max was freaking awesome. Especially when charging chicks with red toenail polish.

Showing his trademark black feet and spineless dewlap.

Stripeless tail as well. Good lookin boy!

I don't remember this one's name. But I do remember something about him having too small of a penis to properly copulate.

That's gotta suck.




This is an overview of the breeding area. Each iguana has his/her own square, and during breeding season they open the gate between so they can get "knocked up".

Check out his little teeth....just don't underestimate them! Robert Muldoon was telling us he had both of his thumbs broken by the same freaking iguana in the same freaking week.

That iguana also broke his foot and his manhood.

True Story.

I love those spines.

This one takes me back to the days of velociraptors and T-Rex.

A few years ago a pair of wild dogs killed two of the iguanas in the park. This was one of the epitaphs posted above the graves for the lizards. I'm pretty sure the other iguanas leave flowers and candles on the site every year as a memorial. I could still see some wax.

After the tour of the breeding facility Mr. Muldoon took us on a little hike through the rest of the park so we could see some of the animals in the wild. I'm pretty sure I heard a goat bleating in the woods.

This is a dig site for eggs. The mom was sitting just to the side of the hole glaring at the workers. Good thing they work in groups; if there was only one she would have tripped the guy and eaten his eyeballs.

They Really Don't Serve Beer in Hell.

THURSDAY 5/7

Second day of veterinary school began with our Clinical Skills course; basically a 1.5 hour lecture on playing with puppies and kittens followed by 2 hours of actual playing with puppies and kittens. One the way back to campus we stopped for a coffee break at the beach and were informed by a local woman that the SMU vet school has a wonderful reputation and are well respected. As opposed to those med students who just party all of the time.

Paul, Kip, me, and Robin.



Kip mulling over how Awesome he is.

The afternoon consisted of a 1 hour lecture with our Dean on 'why we want to be a vet' because that was apparently not addressed enough in our personal statements or interviews. There were 2 more unsuccessful trips to the bank (I sense a trend) and an afternoon trip to Hell. We met Ivan the devil, a nutty old guy who built this completely tourist-trap souvenir shop in Hell, and he dresses like the devil each day hanging out with the plethora of people who visit his shop daily. Ironically (or not?) he's a born again Christian. Who dresses like the devil. In a place called Hell.

While there we searched high and low for someplace that serves beer in hell, however it seems that place closed down some time ago. We had to drive into West Bay, which reminded me a little too much of St. Kitts, to a liquor store that bosted the Cheapest Beer on Island. Yeah, by like 50 cents. While searching for beer, a homeless guy accosted the car in search for two dollars. I believe his exact words were: "Ro dun yo winda. Gimmie two dolla." The guy was pretty damn insistent. If he had been just a little bit nicer we might have shared a beer with him in Hell, but he was just a little too creepy to actually roll down the window. If I had, there was a good chance I would be on the pavement and the car would be gone with my new friends held hostage.

I was just glad I had two guys in the backseat who I am sure were both ready and willing to leap out of my little rental at a moments notice. Right.

Eventually we made it back to Hell with some beers, only to be shot down by Ivan with that whole born again thing. But we were informed that we were free to drink our beers anywhere on the island so long as its not in the car while driving.

This is Hell. I especially like the grammar.

This totally looks like a fake blue screen shot, just how the sun was shining that day.

Paul, Robin, me, and Kip in Hell. Where we belong.

They weren't kidding. Whew. We were beginning to think all hope for cheap booze was lost.



Hell Post Office.



Kip attempting to demonstrate how Awesome he is.



Ivan took this shot for us. He's so hitting the gin & juice behind the counter.



This was totally Kip's idea. He orchistrated the entire thing.

We so belong in Hell.

Later that evening we did a little anatomy studying (not much too study at this point) and had another movie night (I shared with my dearest classmates Kip and Robin my Adopt an Animal Friend TV show that I used to tape for the Humane Society. They were amused. I think.)

FRIDAY 5/8

We started our morning out with a little Dead Puppy time, where I was finally feeling smart for once. Doesn't seem to matter to everyone that I've been there before; it's still impressive that I blurt out the right answers. Well, I say impressive. I'm pretty sure they would use terms like irritating, obnoxious, cause-for-knee-shattering.

That afternoon was free once again, due to the continued absence of our dear Professor Kumar. We took advantage of our free time investigating the island a bit. Kip, Robin, Paul and I checked out the turtle farm, Dolphin Discovery, had lunch at the Best Burgers Ever place, and finally stopped at the bank for again where (finally) my money had cleared and I was able to buy my car! Pictures to follow.

Friday night was the long-awaited JagerMonster Full Moon Party at CJs. After such a long and stressful week of socializing and investigating and worrying about our histo prof, it was nice to just kick back and down unbelievable amounts of Black Label scotch.

The Pre-Party at the dorms. Grey Goose and OJ and Good Times.

A crazy bunch of holligans. Mr. Beau Beaus (Kip's roommate), Kip, He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, me (behind Travis), Robin, and Travis (aka Where's Waldo)

Kip giving me some lovin.

I don't remember taking this picture. Guess I should just be glad my top is still on.



Kip being Awesome. Again.

Yeah. I really don't have much to say about that night. Me + Scotch = whatthefuckwereyouthinking.

SATURDAY 5/9

Recovery phase. Slept in basically all freaking day. Checked out the new theater with Star Trek (which was awesome), had dinner at the sushi restaurant near campus (expensive), and a laid back evening at home.

I'm pretty sure I swore off liquor scotch at least three thirty a million times.

SUNDAY 5/10

Sunday we drove out to Rum Point which despite its name is really just a crowded beach for the secluded gazillionaires who live on the outskirts of the island and who don't like dogs at their beach. Poor Ruby was seriously offended. Thus we left Rum Point for an area just past it and had lunch at a place called Kaibo’s. Nothing to write home about, although I was a fan of those Conch Fritters. Kip begs to differ.

We did get to drive around the entire island, which in total came to about 60 miles one-way. It was interesting, and there are some fantastic houses out there...but that's about it. Probably won't bother going out that way again.

Thus ends our wild and crazy adventures during the first week of classes. Classes are in full swing now (read: Histo prof has returned with no explanation and so far no make-up times), so I probably won't be updating this very often as shenanigans will be kept at a minimum.

However there is this vet school barbecue on Friday afternoon.....

This is going to be Awesome.

I have officially moved once again, to a lovely island by the name of Grand Cayman located below that Cuba place everyone keeps talking about.

Already I sense this is going to work. This is going to be Awesome.

THURSDAY

I landed late in the afternoon, and Miss Kitty and I were pretty well tuckered out. However, our trek was not complete without a stop at the immigration booth where I was detained due to some visa discrepancy and I was pretty sure if Kitty didn’t get a sandbox soon there would be issues but the customs guys have guns and so I sat quietly and attempted to distract kitty from her potential renal needs. After about 45 minutes the five people needed to sort out my visa problems came to the conclusion that they would just keep my passport and send me on my way. I asked if they were going to post it on the wall in the customs waiting area like bars do with fake IDs but they just sort of looked at me blankly so instead I just signed the paper they handed me and quickly left. There’s a good chance I signed some sort of agreement to work as a local ‘escort’ for the government or something equally terrifying.

Finally I got my car rented and headed to the apartment to meet my new roommate in person. For the sake of consistency I think I am just going to continue referring to her as FR, except now it will mean Fucking Robin (as in: ‘Who drank the last beer?! Fucking Robin.”) since that’s her favorite word and all other adjectives that start with F just don’t seem to do her justice.

FR is for all intents and purposes exactly as expected which is to say pretty awesome. So is Ruby, the cutest little rocket of a Westie I’ve ever met. Miss Kitty is still a bit standoffish with the whole Ruby thing, and has thus been sequestered in her room for the week, but really that’s not much different from the last few months except that now she has a better view and a bigger bed.

Kitty claimed her throne early.

She just wanted some alone time in the shower.

Ruby got a bit too close this time. Sweet action shot.

Thursday night we made a quick supermarket run where we promptly had massive coronaries as we pathetically tried to convert Cayman Dollars (CI) to USD. The exchange rate being roughly one kidney for each US dollar means I will be eating lots more Ramen and drinking plain ol’ tap water way more than expected.

We had dinner at a little place called Coconut Joe’s, which sports a gigantic tree in the middle of the large front deck and actually serves ‘supersize’ drinks for $2 more. Sigh.

FRIDAY

There is really no other way to describe Friday except that it was a total ShitShow (sorry mom). The day began with a required visit to the immigration/visa office where I was supposed to “Sort out visa issues” as directed on that escort contract I signed but despite being 20 minutes early I was rudely turned away because the guy had a stack of passports to sort out and couldn’t be bothered to stamp mine rightthisminute. Ridiculous.

Despite packing over 200 pounds of stuff each for this adventure FR and I had serious shopping lists and no idea where to go for stuff on this island. We hit two home furnishing stores, the bank to open my account (which is so incredibly not simple here), and attempted to find someplace that sold booze at a decent price (laughable goal really).

We returned home late to dump our stuff and freshen up for dinner. I took her to that awesome cheeseburger place I have been dreaming about since early April, and the burgers were again the best ever. Mmm.

SATURDAY

Saturday morning we picked up our classmate Paul at the dorms and headed out to a less expensive store called Kirk’s that I seriously think was completely modeled around Publix. Even the cakes look to be of the same quality. Heaven.

This had me laughing for a good ten minutes. Easily amused.

Resident Barrington Sawyers, who has been drinking Roots Tonic for over a year now, attests: "It is a real tonic. It strengthen yuh body. It give yuh energy, sexual energy. It give yuh more stamina like a 'Duracell' (battery) to go on and on. In other words, roots put the lead in your pencil!"

After dropping our groceries, we three had a lazy lunch on the beach at Calico Jack’s. This place seems to be where most students hang out; there are volleyball nets out and cute little beach cabanas that you can commandeer if you are there early enough. After lunch we headed home for a much needed nap (the heat here is brutal!) and to get ready for some Carnival later in the evening.

Carnival in the islands is quite the extravaganza. Think Gasparilla Night Parade meets Mardi Gras minus the beads and you have some idea. FR and I bummed a ride off of an unsuspecting upperclassman allowing me to drink unabashedly with FR for the first time. Since most drinks cost a minimum of three fingers here and I will probably need those for surgery later, we settled for throwing back Coronas two at a time all night. There was a live concert by a really good band called Green Electric Monkey or some such nonsense and people all over the place – in the streets, in the bars, hanging over balconies. I convinced Paul to join us since the dorms are relatively close and he brought along another classmate of ours named Kip.

If you have ever met two people completely unalike it would be Paul and Kip. Just sayin.

Most of the evening is a blur of Coronas and music and boxing and a really tall guy on stilts with fire coming from his hat. There was an intermission in the music so we could fully enjoy a crazyass knockout between two very bloody men projected onto a wall next to the stage. Robin was excitedly anticipating the Air Guitar contest that was held; unfortunately of the four contestants only the guy on stilts dressed like Slash with fire on his hat understood the concept of "Stage Presence".

[*pic of robin and i with slash to be uploaded as soon as robin gets her act together]

Robin grabbed his ass. I was more worried about how much hairspray he used before donning the hat and whether his stilts were coated in polyurethane.

These chicks were running around everywhere. I'm pretty sure they're still in high school. They told me the way to score an outfit like this for next year is to go to the costume store and say the password: Skanky.

One major drawback to this island is the Midnight = Pumpkin rule; every bar/restaurant closes down at midnight on most nights but most definitely on Saturdays. Crazy.