Damn Yankees.

My aunt and uncle joined us at the last Yankees spring training game of the season today. We had fantastic seats, about 10 rows from the field:

At one point a ball landed about 2 rows directly in front of us. My sad little family all just cringed and cowered and covered our heads as best we could. Funny part was, the ball hit the ground and bounced straight up to land just behind us. Some guy caught it, and was ridiculously violent in his efforts. It's a spring training game dude. Seriously.

It was only about 83 degrees out today, but you would think we were sitting in the center of the Saudi desert by the amount of sweat draining out of my body. At one point I had to hitch my skirt up completely to avoid the inevitable swamp-ass. Which I sort of got anyhow, but despite my uncontrollable need to photo document my entire life for you all I did not take a picture of my backside post-game. That would be uncouth.

Haha, this picture has two fairly inappropriate arrows drawn on it. Click the pic to see the text a little better.

Derek Jeter was at the game, in all his....glory? I'm not really a big fan, basically because I've met the man in person a number of times and he wasn't really the Super Awesome guy people claim. Even my BFF Jen who was basically going to marry him wasn't too keen after she met him. I think she may have even broken his heart. True story.

Here's another reason for me to wonder at this guy's mental state:

Click on the pic to see a not-at-all-life-size version of the picture.

That, my dear friends, is his THIRTY THOUSAND SQUARE FOOT house being built on Davis Island (a semi-uppity man-made island in South Tampa that will likely slide into the ocean once the Big One hits). I can't even describe to you how incredibly insane the entire concept of this house is - NUTS. He paid something like 7 million dollars for the land alone, almost 2 million just to the designers, and who the hell knows how much to get it built/furnish it/etc. The place has like 9 million bedrooms and bathrooms, TWO three car garages, and a gigantic front courtyard that will no doubt be a place for his groupies to get arrested when trespassing entourage to park.

I mean, this guy could probably house the entire population of St. Kitts comfortably.

To give you some reference as to how completely out of place this house is, check out his neighbor across the street:

Their house only took one camera shot to document. His took three. From a distance.

Now I realize that someone should probably give this guy a psychiatric evaluation medal of honor for putting so much money into the economy during times like these, but who does this? Not necessarily overall, but who does this here? I mean, Tampa's pretty cool, but c'mon!!

Oh! And remember how mom exchanges wine for liquor over lent?

Scene: Mom returns to table with mysterious brownish liquid in a glass. We both look at her incredulously, since this looks suspiciously like a glass of whiskey wine on the rocks.

Dad: Ellen!

Mom: [taking in our looks of disbelief] No, no. That's just vermouth.

Dad: Ellen, that's basically wine.

Mom: Yeah, I know. I'm maybe sort of cheating a little.

Me: [cringing, looking around for the lightning strikes.] Nice one, mom.

This family is nuts.

PS - Thanks to my seven friends and/or random drunken strangers for voting about my new site. Well, thanks to the five of you who Love It. Everyone else can just go piss off re-vote.