This is going to be Awesome.

I have officially moved once again, to a lovely island by the name of Grand Cayman located below that Cuba place everyone keeps talking about.

Already I sense this is going to work. This is going to be Awesome.

THURSDAY

I landed late in the afternoon, and Miss Kitty and I were pretty well tuckered out. However, our trek was not complete without a stop at the immigration booth where I was detained due to some visa discrepancy and I was pretty sure if Kitty didn’t get a sandbox soon there would be issues but the customs guys have guns and so I sat quietly and attempted to distract kitty from her potential renal needs. After about 45 minutes the five people needed to sort out my visa problems came to the conclusion that they would just keep my passport and send me on my way. I asked if they were going to post it on the wall in the customs waiting area like bars do with fake IDs but they just sort of looked at me blankly so instead I just signed the paper they handed me and quickly left. There’s a good chance I signed some sort of agreement to work as a local ‘escort’ for the government or something equally terrifying.

Finally I got my car rented and headed to the apartment to meet my new roommate in person. For the sake of consistency I think I am just going to continue referring to her as FR, except now it will mean Fucking Robin (as in: ‘Who drank the last beer?! Fucking Robin.”) since that’s her favorite word and all other adjectives that start with F just don’t seem to do her justice.

FR is for all intents and purposes exactly as expected which is to say pretty awesome. So is Ruby, the cutest little rocket of a Westie I’ve ever met. Miss Kitty is still a bit standoffish with the whole Ruby thing, and has thus been sequestered in her room for the week, but really that’s not much different from the last few months except that now she has a better view and a bigger bed.

Kitty claimed her throne early.

She just wanted some alone time in the shower.

Ruby got a bit too close this time. Sweet action shot.

Thursday night we made a quick supermarket run where we promptly had massive coronaries as we pathetically tried to convert Cayman Dollars (CI) to USD. The exchange rate being roughly one kidney for each US dollar means I will be eating lots more Ramen and drinking plain ol’ tap water way more than expected.

We had dinner at a little place called Coconut Joe’s, which sports a gigantic tree in the middle of the large front deck and actually serves ‘supersize’ drinks for $2 more. Sigh.

FRIDAY

There is really no other way to describe Friday except that it was a total ShitShow (sorry mom). The day began with a required visit to the immigration/visa office where I was supposed to “Sort out visa issues” as directed on that escort contract I signed but despite being 20 minutes early I was rudely turned away because the guy had a stack of passports to sort out and couldn’t be bothered to stamp mine rightthisminute. Ridiculous.

Despite packing over 200 pounds of stuff each for this adventure FR and I had serious shopping lists and no idea where to go for stuff on this island. We hit two home furnishing stores, the bank to open my account (which is so incredibly not simple here), and attempted to find someplace that sold booze at a decent price (laughable goal really).

We returned home late to dump our stuff and freshen up for dinner. I took her to that awesome cheeseburger place I have been dreaming about since early April, and the burgers were again the best ever. Mmm.

SATURDAY

Saturday morning we picked up our classmate Paul at the dorms and headed out to a less expensive store called Kirk’s that I seriously think was completely modeled around Publix. Even the cakes look to be of the same quality. Heaven.

This had me laughing for a good ten minutes. Easily amused.

Resident Barrington Sawyers, who has been drinking Roots Tonic for over a year now, attests: "It is a real tonic. It strengthen yuh body. It give yuh energy, sexual energy. It give yuh more stamina like a 'Duracell' (battery) to go on and on. In other words, roots put the lead in your pencil!"

After dropping our groceries, we three had a lazy lunch on the beach at Calico Jack’s. This place seems to be where most students hang out; there are volleyball nets out and cute little beach cabanas that you can commandeer if you are there early enough. After lunch we headed home for a much needed nap (the heat here is brutal!) and to get ready for some Carnival later in the evening.

Carnival in the islands is quite the extravaganza. Think Gasparilla Night Parade meets Mardi Gras minus the beads and you have some idea. FR and I bummed a ride off of an unsuspecting upperclassman allowing me to drink unabashedly with FR for the first time. Since most drinks cost a minimum of three fingers here and I will probably need those for surgery later, we settled for throwing back Coronas two at a time all night. There was a live concert by a really good band called Green Electric Monkey or some such nonsense and people all over the place – in the streets, in the bars, hanging over balconies. I convinced Paul to join us since the dorms are relatively close and he brought along another classmate of ours named Kip.

If you have ever met two people completely unalike it would be Paul and Kip. Just sayin.

Most of the evening is a blur of Coronas and music and boxing and a really tall guy on stilts with fire coming from his hat. There was an intermission in the music so we could fully enjoy a crazyass knockout between two very bloody men projected onto a wall next to the stage. Robin was excitedly anticipating the Air Guitar contest that was held; unfortunately of the four contestants only the guy on stilts dressed like Slash with fire on his hat understood the concept of "Stage Presence".

[*pic of robin and i with slash to be uploaded as soon as robin gets her act together]

Robin grabbed his ass. I was more worried about how much hairspray he used before donning the hat and whether his stilts were coated in polyurethane.

These chicks were running around everywhere. I'm pretty sure they're still in high school. They told me the way to score an outfit like this for next year is to go to the costume store and say the password: Skanky.

One major drawback to this island is the Midnight = Pumpkin rule; every bar/restaurant closes down at midnight on most nights but most definitely on Saturdays. Crazy.