Ack! Mutant Spiders on Steroids!!

One of the things people told me about this island before I got here was that it rained every day, but only for a few minutes. Of course, in that few minutes more rain would fall then during a month in Florida. So of course what does this Floridian do but come prepared with three - yes, three - mini-umbrellas for everyday use. I stashed one in my purse, one in my bookbag, and one will be stashed in my future vehicle when/if it is ever purchased.


Imagine my surprise that for the last three weeks I've seen very little rain. I know it's happened, there are mornings when I walk outside and the air is heavy with humidity and the sidewalks are riddled with puddles. But we have been spared the drenching downpours during school hours (when we are most likely to be caught unawares walking to class).


Today, that pipedream came to a halt. Just before breaking for lunch, a torrential downpour started and almost as suddenly stopped. You might be thinking, how fortuitous! They won't get wet waiting in line for their lunches!


And you'd be half right. We didn't get wet waiting for lunch, however our very tired rear ends got plenty wet sitting on the benches eating said lunches. And the clouds weren't quite done with us yet. Just as we finished eating, the sprinkles starting getting heavier so we took shelter in the nearest enclosed space we could get to - the anatomy changing rooms.

You might say to yourself, why why why?! Well, there are (dry) benches and our desensitized nostrils only detect the strongest stench of formalin, such as that which is emitted from our dogs when someone leans on the check to get a better view. (betcha didn't want to know that, did ya?!)


As we set our stuff down on the benches and prepared to go about chatting away about anatomy pieces and parts (exam tomorrow!!), my eye was drawn to a movement on the doorframe that just seemed....malicious.


There, crouching in a hostile pose, gripping the doorframe with all of his might, was the biggest spider EVER. And those of you who know me well know that at this point I shrieked loudly and ran across the room (which in this case lead into the bathroom portion of the changing rooms). Unfortunately, the spider happened to be crouching on the doorframe of the only path of egress from the room, and he was following our every movement with his devilish little eyes.


But WAIT - if you aren't totally creeped out yet, let me tell you why this particular animal was truly sent here from hell: it had three legs. Three. As in had eight, lost five, now he has THREE.


So myself and Kristin (who is unfortunately as arachnophobic as I) quickly deduced that either:

A) this spider was very clumsy and kept sitting on the wrong part of the doorframe, thus losing his legs in multiple door slamming incidents. OR

B) this spider was so tough, so mean, so incredibly scrappy that he had obviously won a lot of battles with other animals (humans included) and was still kicking. Literally.


At this point, I pulled out the cell phone in an attempt to call for help (a few of our classmates were sitting just outside, the rain having stopped by now) and found that the entire space had NO SIGNAL. I had to go almost right next to the aforementioned three-legged demon and hold the phone up to the little holes in the walls (a possible entry point for demon-kind) to get a text to send.


Now, I realize that some of you out there are thinking, what the hell? Just swipe the damn thing and be done with it...but you obviously don't know me. There were continued shrieks and jumping around being done by myself (and Kristin, don't let her tell you otherwise) throughout all of this trauma.


Finally, an angel in the form of another first semester student opened the door and inspected our nemesis. She proclaimed him to be a "Donkey Spider", and a baby at that. Then she began to attempt to swipe him away from the doorframe and outside - which he fought tooth and nail (I think those lost legs were battle scars!). We were saved, and were able to make it to anatomy lab on time and with no bodily harm.


In researching this genetic freak, I found out a VERY startling fact: not only are these spiders very prevalent on this island, are prone to come out after large rainfalls, and are willing to appear aggressive if threatened - but they are also HUGE when full-grown!!! And by huge, I mean up to a 3 inch leg span!! ACK! Their true name is Giant Crab Spider, or Huntsman Spider. Donkey Spider is a name that may be attributed to their brown color and slow movement (when not hassled by screaming chicks, of course). Apparently, they are common in Florida (as they like warm tropical areas) and may truly be the root of my extreme arachnophobia as at least three of my last major spider experiences involved super large spiders that looked like these. Feel free to check out the pics/info on this site:


http://creatures.ifas.ufl.edu/urban/spiders/giant_crab_spider.htm


Cristin, who luckily missed this event but was informed of our progress regularly via text message, was able to get some decent shots of the creepy mutant before class. I asked her to write a little blurb explaining her side of the events, however due to the recent rash of exams lately I don't think it will happen anytime soon. So instead, enjoy the pics: