Need some cheese for my whine.

I try to keep this blog happy and chipper so my readers (all two of you, thanks mom & dad) get the impression everything on The Rock is honky dory.

Well, it's not.

I am breaking new ground right now: I am admitting to being seriously frustrated with life (publicly admitting, not normally my thing). I cannot maintain focus, cannot retain any of this BS, and am in a constant state of feeling like a grain of dirt under Vet School's shoe. Pretty much 24/7 I just want to tuck myself into the corner and listen to loud sappy music and consider crying (also not really my thing).

I am also frustrated with some of the people around me, people who seem to think they know what's best for me and won't just let me BE. Things in life change rather frequently (what's that quote about the only constant in life?), and sometimes good changes in one person's life might be not so great in another's. Does that mean that the person whose life changes for the good should give that up? Why can't we all just live and let live? I'm a serious 'phase' person, just like the tide I have my ups and downs. And being the stubborn jackass that I am, I have to work through life on my own. Why can't people understand that the harder they push me the harder I pull away?

Lately I've been in a constant state of feeling lonely. Even amongst crowds of friends, people whom I love and adore. It's like there's a void in my life that I can't quite figure out. I think that's part of what is making me want to "build a fort in the attic" to hide in (to quote Laura); perhaps that's what's been distracting me.

Please don't read too much into this, get concerned, write comments with attempts at encouragement or pity. I appreciate your thoughts...and I know there are many people out there in my support web (I'm even lucky enough to have a few of those here). You are all appreciated and loved. I just wanted to vent to something abstract and nonresponsive (blog)....

Okay, study break is over. Back to immuno and its wonderful simplicity. Ahh...life without sarcasm would be truly unimaginative and dull indeed.