Scuba Lesson #2 & 3

Today we had a combined scuba lesson, completing all of our pool work in one session. Basically, that's 6 hours in a pool swimming around in circles. My fingers we swollen little prunes when we finally got out!
Now what, do you ask, attracts me to scuba? Is it the pretty fish, or the possibility of seeing shark in their natural habitat? Or maybe exploring sunken ships and seeing a bit of history lost in time? No no, my friends...it's all about the cool new accessories and outfits for me!

Never mind that I have no neck....how slimming is this suit?!

My Buddy, My Buddy, wherever I go, she's gonna go.....

After gearing up, hooking up our air, and getting into the pool it was time to do some serious pool scuba. We saw many species of boogers, dead plant material, and particulate matter that I did not want to identify. Our instructor was firm and determined to complete our material at least an hour ahead of schedule. Some of the tasks we learned included:

• how to clear our masks of water while underwater, should a shark remove it from our heads while diving
• how to clear our regulator underwater, should it get pulled from our mouths by our buddy while diving
• how to take off all of our scuba gear underwater and then put it all back on again underwater (in case we should ever be so inclined to show off that skill)
• how to properly buoyant ourselves in the water so that we don't sink to the bottom nor stay at the surface
• how to breathe from our buddy's regulator and then go swimming off into the sunset arm in arm
• how to swim in a circle with our masks off, find our masks at the bottom with chlorine-blinded eyes, and put them back on underwater

Once we had completed these tasks and more to our instructors liking, we were officially dubbed Junior Divers and given the okay to leave the pool. Next comes that dreadful word...the academic portion of our diving journey. After academics we take written test and they set us free in the ocean! Scary thought, huh? I mean, Drivers Ed was like a 3 month course. Crazy.

Scuba Sas.

Please note how My Buddy is in the background LAUGHING as I am swallowed whole.

Please excuse my crude graphics in the above photo. I couldn't find my copy of Photoshop before I left home and thus was forced to use the archaic Paint program. Ick.

Caribbean Roadkill

So the other morning, we were minding our business eating our Egg & Cheese bagels (morning ritual) outside of the Shak Shak when there erupted quite a ruckus! The ladies who run the Shak Shak were screeching and stumbling over each other behind the counter, and it appeared there was something on the ground causing all the craziness. We mainlanders shrugged our shoulders, assuming there was a roach or a perhaps a centipede - maybe even a little mouse. Never did we guess there was this:

For those of you of my generation, kinda looks like the Prodigy CD cover...

I think this was his "angry" face....

Seems this guy wandered up the cliff, found his way across the little parking area, through the patio seating area and into the Shak Shak over the weekend. I think he went out partying on Friday night and got lost on the way home. At some point in his life he lost a claw, perhaps while on a past drinking binge. It amazing, also, because the Shak Shak has one door in, with a fairly narrow slit at the bottom, and it's tucked under a stair case so there really is no visible way this large guy could get in!
One of the nearby workers caught our one-clawed friend and set him free at the top of the cliff. Sadly, a few days later we found the remains of his subsequent return to the Shak Shak for another party:

Note the one squished claw.

This is what qualifies for Caribbean Roadkill. No possums, coons, or armadillos here!

Scuba Sas!

Tonight was my first scuba lesson. Firstly, to all you vets out there - I have NO other outlet in my life right now so I deserve some scuba time! I don't want to hear any of your stories about "when I was in vet school I had to walk ten miles uphill in snow/rain/sleet just to get to my anatomy lab that was super stinky because the heat was on (the freezer was broken, etc.) and I never got to even think about taking a break to do something fun like SCUBA DIVING!"

We signed up for classes (and paid, mind you) about 2 weeks ago. Since then it has been pulling teeth to get our manuals so we can start on the 'academic' portion of the class (see, it's not all fun). It seems our manuals are on the 'slow' boat, and will take another week to get here. But we will still be starting our pool work on Sunday, manuals or no. I was worried our certification would be delayed unneccessarily!

As Dr. Reich frequently says (and demonstrates physically), let me take a few steps back here. Let's start with the drive down to the scuba shop, which is convieniently located at what seems to be the most 'off the grid' location possible. We were kindly given a ride by another student, who has been on this island for about 4 months and has seemed to loose all sense of driving in that time. He has a seriously low compact car, and with the added weight of three females (who I will kindly say added up to 300+ pounds) his car bottomed out on every single little bump in the road. So basically every....10 feet or so. And not just any bottoming out. I'm talking, scrape your entire undercarriage, lose small parts, and create pretty sparks all over the place. I thought for sure after a few times he would realize that his car could not possibly continue to drive in the manner to which he was accustomed while we three girls were still inside - and yet this continued the entire way there and back.

I knew we were in some trouble when I looked down at the directions and read:

• down the Bay Road through town
• Bay road ends at a T, turn right down the Birdrock road
• past the fancyloaf bakery (which is, by the way, super small and set back far from the road)around the roundabout (yes, it is a roundabout, albeit an invisible one)
• first right
• over curb
• all the way down to the sea

Now I realize that this may seem somewhat logical to you, but when you are navigating from the wrong side of the car and he's driving on the wrong side of the road and it seems like there are road hazards every 5 feet or so...these directions were in Greek to me. Plus, there are no street signs. So no way I would have known where Birdrock Road was...
Anyhow, our trusty driver thankfully knew a bit more about the navigation than I and he got us to our destination more or less intact. Of course, then there's the bit about the curb - which was really and truly a CURB. At the front of the driveway to this hotel/restaurant/dive shop! A curb that we, the 500 pound car, could not go over without losing a vital part of the vehicle. So we walked.

I love that all of the signs here have beer logos on them...I always associate scuba diving and drinking!

Yes, this is the massive 'curb' they wanted us to hurtle over in a little compact car. Hence, my interest in purchasing a Jeep.

The dive shop was small, mainly a storage closet for dive gear, but they have a pretty sweet boat and the gear all seems in top shape. We were introduced to the gear, instructed about proper safety techniques in handling the air tanks (ie. no dropping them), and shown how to attach all of the hoses/gear to the tank and how to disengage everything post-dive. Aside from my innate fear of 'contents under pressure' (I hesititate to even check the air in my tires by myself!) I felt pretty good about the mechanics of scuba gear when I was done. I did get a bit nervous about how little the amount of gear we would need...I just somehow figured that I would need hundreds of pounds of equiptment to keep me alive so deep in the scary ocean. I hope I can handle the transition from poolwork to ocean...

Kristin and Kristen working on their gear

Look Dad, the gas is on and I still have both hands!

Speaking of pool - the pool at this hotel had barstools in the water. I think places in Florida would be a lot more popular if they just added that little amenity! I was pretty psyched about ordering a drink post-class, until our instructor told us we had to take a swim proficiency test (which the little voice that sits on my shoulder told me we would have to take, but I argued and argued...). That involved doing 10 laps (across and back = one lap) and then treading water for 10 minutes. By the end it was all I could do to make it down the steps without collapsing. I am woefully out of shape.
All in all, a pretty fun experience. I am looking forward to my first real dive...not too deep (55 feet?) but the spot he's taking us to is supposed to be chuck full of fish and turtles and such. He said he even sees nurse sharks (not too exciting, those are all over Florida). I'm hoping to see a Tiger shark!

I promise not to get this close.
(picture taken from National Geographic's website)

I heart Nutrition.

No, silly kids - I'm not changing my diet habits just yet. I just had this fantastic epiphany in class the other morning...

One of the best parts about knowledge and the adventure of aquiring it is that in learning about the world around us we always learn something new about ourselves.

When I was a little girl, climbing trees in an effort to freak my mom out or focusing on boys and dividing fractions - not once did I ever envision to myself saying these three little words:

I Heart Nutrition.

I realize the irony here. Please understand that this does not insinuate that I have had an epiphany that will lead to my consuming massive amounts of roughage and fruits.

Certinaly Not.

What about nutrition do I love, then? The biochemical details, of course. Thus, to rephase my previous statement:

I Heart Nutrition in regards to the Biochemical Nature of Life.

A bit too much for a bumper sticker, thus the earlier simplification.

Even more detailed would be to say that I absolutely love to learn about the micro-processes of our incredibly complex bodies (all animals) that make us who we are...from the detailed process of embryology (one itty bitty cell to a full fledged member of society) to the crazy systems in the body present simply to maintain homeostatsis.

Oh, and according to my nutrition prof the Liver is God. Therefore I welcome you all to have a drink and toast your personal God, the Liver. (trust me, the Liver does more for our bodies than we will ever know - it has a hand in just about all metabolic processes...be kind to it!)

Ack! Mutant Spiders on Steroids!!

One of the things people told me about this island before I got here was that it rained every day, but only for a few minutes. Of course, in that few minutes more rain would fall then during a month in Florida. So of course what does this Floridian do but come prepared with three - yes, three - mini-umbrellas for everyday use. I stashed one in my purse, one in my bookbag, and one will be stashed in my future vehicle when/if it is ever purchased.


Imagine my surprise that for the last three weeks I've seen very little rain. I know it's happened, there are mornings when I walk outside and the air is heavy with humidity and the sidewalks are riddled with puddles. But we have been spared the drenching downpours during school hours (when we are most likely to be caught unawares walking to class).


Today, that pipedream came to a halt. Just before breaking for lunch, a torrential downpour started and almost as suddenly stopped. You might be thinking, how fortuitous! They won't get wet waiting in line for their lunches!


And you'd be half right. We didn't get wet waiting for lunch, however our very tired rear ends got plenty wet sitting on the benches eating said lunches. And the clouds weren't quite done with us yet. Just as we finished eating, the sprinkles starting getting heavier so we took shelter in the nearest enclosed space we could get to - the anatomy changing rooms.

You might say to yourself, why why why?! Well, there are (dry) benches and our desensitized nostrils only detect the strongest stench of formalin, such as that which is emitted from our dogs when someone leans on the check to get a better view. (betcha didn't want to know that, did ya?!)


As we set our stuff down on the benches and prepared to go about chatting away about anatomy pieces and parts (exam tomorrow!!), my eye was drawn to a movement on the doorframe that just seemed....malicious.


There, crouching in a hostile pose, gripping the doorframe with all of his might, was the biggest spider EVER. And those of you who know me well know that at this point I shrieked loudly and ran across the room (which in this case lead into the bathroom portion of the changing rooms). Unfortunately, the spider happened to be crouching on the doorframe of the only path of egress from the room, and he was following our every movement with his devilish little eyes.


But WAIT - if you aren't totally creeped out yet, let me tell you why this particular animal was truly sent here from hell: it had three legs. Three. As in had eight, lost five, now he has THREE.


So myself and Kristin (who is unfortunately as arachnophobic as I) quickly deduced that either:

A) this spider was very clumsy and kept sitting on the wrong part of the doorframe, thus losing his legs in multiple door slamming incidents. OR

B) this spider was so tough, so mean, so incredibly scrappy that he had obviously won a lot of battles with other animals (humans included) and was still kicking. Literally.


At this point, I pulled out the cell phone in an attempt to call for help (a few of our classmates were sitting just outside, the rain having stopped by now) and found that the entire space had NO SIGNAL. I had to go almost right next to the aforementioned three-legged demon and hold the phone up to the little holes in the walls (a possible entry point for demon-kind) to get a text to send.


Now, I realize that some of you out there are thinking, what the hell? Just swipe the damn thing and be done with it...but you obviously don't know me. There were continued shrieks and jumping around being done by myself (and Kristin, don't let her tell you otherwise) throughout all of this trauma.


Finally, an angel in the form of another first semester student opened the door and inspected our nemesis. She proclaimed him to be a "Donkey Spider", and a baby at that. Then she began to attempt to swipe him away from the doorframe and outside - which he fought tooth and nail (I think those lost legs were battle scars!). We were saved, and were able to make it to anatomy lab on time and with no bodily harm.


In researching this genetic freak, I found out a VERY startling fact: not only are these spiders very prevalent on this island, are prone to come out after large rainfalls, and are willing to appear aggressive if threatened - but they are also HUGE when full-grown!!! And by huge, I mean up to a 3 inch leg span!! ACK! Their true name is Giant Crab Spider, or Huntsman Spider. Donkey Spider is a name that may be attributed to their brown color and slow movement (when not hassled by screaming chicks, of course). Apparently, they are common in Florida (as they like warm tropical areas) and may truly be the root of my extreme arachnophobia as at least three of my last major spider experiences involved super large spiders that looked like these. Feel free to check out the pics/info on this site:


http://creatures.ifas.ufl.edu/urban/spiders/giant_crab_spider.htm


Cristin, who luckily missed this event but was informed of our progress regularly via text message, was able to get some decent shots of the creepy mutant before class. I asked her to write a little blurb explaining her side of the events, however due to the recent rash of exams lately I don't think it will happen anytime soon. So instead, enjoy the pics: