OMG it's already February.

Laurie, who writes a blog I adore and read regularly (read: check about as frequently as I do Facebook, as in lots), had a great thought in a recent post that sort of explained my current situation pretty well. Since I'm all about other people doing my work for me (read: some people are just plain funnier than I am), I thought I would share:

The biggest dilemma I seem to have right now is finding a way to be completely at ease (if that's even possible) with uncertainty. So many things are uncertain and aside from knowing where the shoes and pans and silverware go (and aside from my neurotic love of vacuuming), not much else feels very stable or permanent or real. So it's as if I have arrived at this big crossroads -- no, not a crossroads, that's too poetic. This is one of those huge freeway intersections with multiple on-ramps and off-ramps and detours and some road construction thrown in, and it's poorly marked and oh, it's also rush hour -- and my choices are:
1) Become completely panicked and freak out. Then make some random decision that has no basis at all in reason or meaning but is a DECISION. The Decider!
2) Find some way to be at peace with the knowledge that I am not sure which route to take and have no idea how I managed to find myself at this intersection. And just keep moving toward whatever seems better and hope it all works out OK.
3) Pull over on the side of the road and pray for wine.

Crazy Aunt Purl Archives

I'm currently working on option 3 (one bottle down, lots in the wine cooler to go!), though I suppose for sanity's sake (mine as well as those poor souls I "drunk-IM") option 2 is what I should be striving towards. I'm not as much of a fan of option 1, since I'm quite done with the panic and freaking out stuff, and random is fun when you're out with friends but not-so-much when it relates to Life Decisions.

On a related note, I made my parents watch a movie with me tonight: Failure to Launch. I was amused to find them scamper off into parts unknown (AKA their bedroom) when they realized that the plot involves a 35-year-old still living at home with no intentions of moving out. Perhaps it was their bedtime, perhaps there was something more interesting on TV (as mom claimed, though I thought the movie far surpassed the British comedy they were watching on PBS)....but I caught a slight whiff of fear as they scampered off.

Well no fear, my family and friends. Despite my constant avoidance of reality, inclination to knit the majority of the day away, insomnia-causing late-rising mornings(er, afternoons), and lack of pretty much anything productive......I have NO intention to be 35 and still living at home.

Now, to just get that thing called motivation moving inside me....I mean really, which of you can honestly say that they are super excited to write a stupid personal statement for what seems like the gazillionth time?